You are currently browsing the monthly archive for June 2010.
i re-read “Fever Pitch” by nick hornby and watched the movie of the same name (no, not the rubbish american one but the one with colin firth in it) and suddenly everything makes sense all over again. No, Arsenal is not the club i’m supporting. It’s just that some principles are too obvious to ignore given their similar parallels to my life. Nick Hornby has got to be one of the most defining authors of my lifetime. He & Neil Gaiman are absolute gems.
i think i have mentioned where i am a guy whose friends would actually ask to come on their dates.
the problem when you become friends also with your friends’ partners is that when they break-up, somehow you are the middle-man.
they would ask you how is their ex, what is the development of their ex, etc..
sometimes you are caught in the middle when u know that your friend is the wrong-doer / perpetrator in the relationship. but you try to be as diplomatic as possible to back up your friend but at the same time help the other party to see things differently. you feel for that person but your friend, who has been through thick and thin with you, deserves your loyalty.
people might call it blind loyalty but i call it being civil and knowing whether the juice is worth the squeeze.
could you say hi?
so i know it would be okay for me to do so?
dear dad,
i have long resigned to the fact that i am the black sheep of the family, literally (being the darkest) and figuratively (for the reasons which i think are apparent) .
i have resigned to the fact that you are pride your high achieving daughters and my little brother more than i do; scoring straight-As, getting those academic medals, being school prefects, being doctors and accountants and all.
i have to admit i have average test scores, gets into trouble a lot, not as charming and popular as you were before. but you have to know that i tried. i always try my best to impress you. i joined sports and debating because i want to show you that i can win medals and trophies too. i’d whacked another kid into submission before to prove to you that i’m strong enough, that i am man enough to be your son. I chose to not ask you for a single cent after finishing school and took up numerous part-time jobs (like cleaning toilets, becoming a waiter, washing cars, tutoring) to show you that i can survive on my own and sustain myself.
i’m not mad at you for not remembering my birthday or how old i am. i’m not mad at you for not remembering what i like or dislike or what i’m allergic to. i’m not mad at you for those whackings and rollicking that you dished out. i’m not mad at you for only paying attention to me when i’m in deep shit. i’m not mad at you for talking about all the good things about my sisters in front of me to everyone else without mentioning about me. i’m not mad at you for thinking that i have thrown my life away by doing what i’m doing now for a living.
but i guess, as much as i try to prove myself, i could never get you to say that you are proud of me or that you are proud to have me as your son as what you have said to your daughters and your younger son. but i’ll never stop trying to get your seal of approval. that i can assure you. i don’t hate you or despise you for it. i just wish that one day i would hear it. because you are my dad and being able to hear you say it would mean a lot to me. i mean, mom says it but it is a different feeling when your old man says it. it sorta like yoda telling anakin that he’s welcome to join the Jedi Council. it will be worth the wait.
happy father’s day dad.
unkind words that aren’t true
speak not of virtues but of indignity and goes eskew
my tongue and my lips moved
to whisper a story about the moon
do not swear thou love upon the moon
for it is variable, and disappears once it is due
swear thou love upon thou self
for it survives till till thou soul is taken
this glistening sands of time is a sight
that watches thee till thou vows is lost in the night
my lips they say that i love thee
there’s no truer words than those
and none disagrees.
surabaya was a very nice city. it’s not as hectic as jakarta and it’s a lot more cleaner and surreal than bandung. i would like to live there given the chance.
enjoyed stuffing myself at Warung Bu Kris, Ayam Presiden, that awesome chicken noodle place near Marriott, Layar restaurant, etc. It was a truly gastronomically brilliant place. I think i overdosed myself on Nasi Padang and Sambal a lot. lol. but they seem to have lotsa variety of sambal. the Restoran Desa i went for example that 5 varieties of sambal and each and every one of it was spicy in it’s own way but equally tasty.
Didn’t get to go around and explore as much as i was busy with the seminar & exhibition. But it certainly piqued me enough to want me to go back there again just as Wellington and Dubai has done.
I got the tickets for Urbanscapes 2010 today. so i got urbanscapes on the 26th, OP-PP Day on the 27th, muna’s wedding reception on the 25th evening – that weekend my social calendar has been filled. Wooh! take that naysayers! i have a social life! 😀
Couple is going to perform in Urbanscapes:
i turned 26th. how time flies. yay me. did not do much to celebrate it. spend my birthday night alone at home reading a book which i bought months ago but did not have the chance to read. my parents were at Dewan Philharmonik Petronas watching a keroncong show, my sisters are all overseas, my brother is in RMC and my friends were busy with their respective halves. It meant that this year is the most relaxing yet lonely birthday ever. Well… it’s the same every year. In school, on my birthday I’m always away in RMC. didn’t get to celebrate it. back in uni, usually by this time, i’ll be away in some foreign country debating. back in the legal firm, i was staying back late in office. To a certain extent i’m used to not being able to celebrate it.
God has been good to me in a lot of aspects. I’m relatively healthy and have a loving family. Even when i spent most parts of my teenage life chucked away in an army camp and only get to see my family once a month for 2 days, or spent most of my break in university traveling because of debating, my family would always be there for me. I have a job amidst the recession and have friends who actually cares about me. Where else can i get friends who wants me to chaperone them on their dates because they feel i would be lonely staying at home or at room in uni? I must be the only guy whose friends wants em to come on their dates. hahahha…
a lot of people said that i have changed. they say that i’m a nicer person now. maybe i have mellowed down. lol. they say that i’m a lot more restrained now. maybe because i feel that i have something to lose now.
but life is far from perfect. but only because perhaps there is a silver lining in the yonder future. God does works in mysterious ways.
hopefully things will get better. my best birthday wish came from dad. he sms-ed me after going off to work: “happy birthday son, in whatever marriageable age you are in now“. yes, he denied he forgot how old i am. 😀
my aunt saleha hashim passed away today. “Makcik Aa” was 61. she had been suffering from heart, diabetes, arthritis and miscellaneous other major sickness except for cancer for the last 6 years.
even when the sickness shrunk her body and made her wheelchair bound most of the times but her spirit and liveliness was there for all to see. she can tell you off with a stinging one-liner and you won’t be mad but rather embarrassed by her put-down. but she was also all-heart. going out of her way to help people, even ones who are a total stranger to her.
she was my dad’s youngest sister. she follows her eldest sister and eldest brother who has passed away earlier this year. today was the first time i saw my dad cried at a funeral. wait, that was the first time i saw my dad cried ever. when he saw me looked at him shedding those tears, he conjured a smile and said; “3 down, 4 to go”. they were close. it was only last night when i sat with him and he told me that when he visited her at the hospital on monday and talked to her, he had a feeling that God will take her away at any time.
but i made an observation also, from those deaths, i noticed that my cousin who was the closest to my aunt / uncle would be the most relaxed person at the funeral. they would not be crying their hearts out or shed tears freely but rather they would be calm, collected and looked peaceful. perhaps their conscience is clear.
no, he isn’t dead. Carlos Dengler a.k.a. Carlos D has left Interpol. for a self-confessed fan, i am slow. i blame it on traveling and work. lol.
his trademark style marked with strident staccato bursts, a clean tone brought about by his Fender Jazz Bass, and octave jumps, almost in a disco-like fashion will be missed. wonder who will replace him as their bassist.
the good news is Interpol is coming out with their fourth album.
you never heard of interpol? doink. i’ll leave you with this:
he loves his karipap sardin 