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if i have son(s) later on, i would want them to read these books as i feel there are important lessons to be learned from them.
1. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
2. The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
3. The Republic by Plato
4. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
5. The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith
6. Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss
7. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
8. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
9. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
10. Ulysses by James Joyce
11. The Young Man’s Guide by William Alcott
12. Crime And Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
13. The Art of Warfare by Sun Tzu
14. Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
15. Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
16. The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
17. The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri
18. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
19. The Politics by Aristotle
20. Animal Farm by George Orwell
21. Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly
22. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Dafoe
23. King Solomon’s Mines by H. Rider Haggard
24. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
girls have their fathers to look up to. they will cry out for the dads. boys? its not that we cry out to our moms but we talked more to our moms me thinks. My dad had 4 girls who demand his attention, that’s where my mom comes in for me i guess. Not to say i didnt need my dad, he was there when i needed a male mentor or role model. who else taught me how to fight, fix things, learn the religion, play chess and other miscellaneous things. Dad was awesome in the sense that whatever a boy needs to know from a father, he was there to guide. Though i failed him miserably when it comes to the opposite sex. hahhahaha… But for me, it’s my mother who is always there. From beating me up with firewood / cane / golf club to bringing me to my sports matches.
The comforting hug and encouraging words given
When things goes awry, there’s my mother comforting me. My mom is a person i can talk to about anything under the sun. anything at all. from politics to girls, we’ll talk about it. I guess that’s why ever since i was small, i confide in her. if i have a problem, she would list down at least 3 options or routes for me to choose from. i guess, that’s how i learn to be objective and to have choices ever since i was small. i remember when i got bullied because of my small size before, she told of 3 choices; (a)turn the other cheek – let people walk all over you (b) turn their cheek the other way – stand your ground and whack them back (c) report them – be a pussy and let someone else whach them. She explained the pros and cons of each choices. but one thing she said helped me chose the option i took; “A man should not cower from his fears”. I whacked those kids back with a firewood, came back to her and told her about it. She said she was proud of me, give me a big smile, and a hug.
She would talk about James Dean, Steve McQueen, Marlon Brando and any other male icons i should aspire to be. She rented their movies and watched with me. She read me their philosophies. If i got into fight when i was small, she would always tell my dad that at least he knows that even if i had 4 sisters, i was not soft and i could fight my own fights. Don’t get me wrong, my mom is not a violent person but i guess to train me to become a man, she can be quite scary. hahahaha..
The extroverted-ness / eccentricity
Ever since i was small, i had a reading schedule. Finish all Dr. Seuss / Enid Blyton / Hardy Boys books by end Standard 1. Finish all Roald Dahl / Famous Five by Standard 2. Finish all C.S.Lewis by Standard 3. can’t remember what she made me read in between but she made me finish reading all of Tolkien’s works by Standard 6. and we would actually talk about those books. By Form 1, she started me on a healthy dose of Thomas Paine, Jean Jacques Rosseau and other socialist / egalitarian / political concept books. I remember spending one whole day talking about Das Kapital by Karl Marx with her.
She enrolled me in public speaking class, summer camping trips every school holidays. She insisted i joined a military school once i’m eligible. She told me before that her side of the family migrated to Tanah Melayu in the old ages as bodyguards to the royal families, mercenaries, warlords. So i;d be merely following in the footsteps of my forefathers. being in the military school created the interest for me to join the military once i finished school. My mom was very supportive of the idea but my grandma, wary of her nephews who died in military training be it the army, air force or navy vetoed it.
She taught me to challenge norms. a simple example was when i was watching the old P. Ramlee film “Hang Tuah”, she was next to me telling me how Hang Jebat should be the epitome of a warrior, not Tuah who was a mindless robot.
Her principles
She confessed when i graduated uni that i was her “project” i.e. training me to be her “mini-me” in some ways. those scrapbooks she compiled on men’s grooming, debate and public speaking classes, lessons on fighting, ideas from the books i was exposed to were somehow what she wanted me as her son to know and have. I don’t think there’s any other mothers out there who gives her son Sun Tzu’s Art of War or Machiavelli’s The Prince for their 12th birthday and force me to memorize by heart the principles taught. in one way or another, she emphasis through the book on honour. Whatever u do she says, do it with honour and honour yourself whilst at it.
Letting Go
What she says might be different from what’s in her heart. She says she’s happy for me and is ready to let me go to lead my life. but deep down inside, i know she’s not and is dreading the day when she can’t easily call me for help or just pop in my room at the attic and talk about things. Every time i said good bye when i leave her house now, she will give this long silent hug without saying anything and will watch me drive off silently. She comments on my fb on things which she could easily talk to me on the phone. I know she does that just to make her presence felt. not to say she’s not being supportive as she would email me the Islamic guides on marriage, lessons of being a good husband and all. she’s even planning on the wedding already with my aunties, picturing herself as the cool grandma, imagining how she would teach my kids to read things from Roald Dahl to Mein Kampf, send them to rugby matches or even fencing classes. She’s even imagining going on shopping trips with her future daughter in law now. I know ma, i know what’s in your mind. As i told you, nothing would change the fact that i’ll be your son.
what made me write all this down?
she called me the other day at work. telling me she’s planning for the wedding. how she’s proud that i have made such decision. she told me she has got to learn how to share now. she knows its way too early for her to tell these things but there is never such a thing as a perfect time. she just want to let it off her chest. she said she knows i have chosen well and she could see in her future daughter in law the qualities of a good wife and mother. that she will be there for both of us as she nows consider her as her own daughter even if in front of everyone else, she has not. well Fuhrer, Ich liebe dich auch.
Teenager Siti Maryam Mahmod married 23-year-old Abdul Manan Othman, a family friend in July. They were one of 250 couples at the 1Malaysia mass wedding held at the Federal Territory mosque on Saturday. She is 14 years old. He is 23 years old.
under the law, currently Muslim girls below the age of 16 can marry with the Syariah Court’s consent while non-Muslim girls between 16 and 18 years old can marry with the authorisation of the Mentri Besar or Chief Minister.
As far as i’m concerned, she is still a child. Children below 16 years are still in need of guidance, protection and the chance to form their own character.
I am disappointed with the religious authorities for allowing this to happen. What would a 14 year old child understand about what it takes to make a marriage tick at that age? the girl should be allowed to focus on her studies, to find out about herself better. under the law even, a person below the age of 18 is assumed not to possess the level of maturity needed to make proper informed choices on their own hence their guardians are given the powers to do so on their behalf.
What were the parents thinking when they allowed it? they are depriving their child of not only learning and living her teenage years but also subjecting their child to a life meant for someone who is ready to lead a life filled with numerous responsibilities. is she ready? what are the yardsticks used?
they may argue that in Islam, as long as you have reached puberty, you may get married and used the example of the Prophet Muhammad who got married to Aisyah when she was a child. but they have missed the point. The Prophet did indeed married her when she was 12 BUT the marriage was only carried out and solemnized when she was 18. When she was able to be educated and form her own character. he was only promised her. even then when she turned 18, she had the choice to decide whether she wants to go to the Prophet. if only people choose to read more. they would understand that she made an informed choice to do so.
i still feel that the syariah court should maintain at least 18 years old as a minimum. let the girl have her basic education and formative years to enable her to make a proper informed choice later on.
i know, no one is perfect. but can’t help feel you are not being enough or doing enough at times. i’m not insecure, i perfectly understand myself. merely concerned whether i’m enough for others. especially for those who matters.
he loves his karipap sardin 